My opinion of people living together before marriage has changed so much. I use to believe, or maybe even convinced, due to my culture and faith, that you get married to the person of your dreams and you live happily ever after. There was not to be a “trial run” at all, or you would be struck by lightening! Back when I was growing up, my parents, aunts, even my friends, all followed the golden rule and all got married and did not live for a while before the wedding. I even had friends that would talk about other people that were living together and with children out of wedlock, and that was scandalous.
After seeing so many marriages go through such an adjustment during the first few years of their marriage, I am convinced that everyone back in the day was wrong. As much as I feel that it is best to get to know your future spouse as much as you can and date for a long time, you never really know a person until you are a part of each other’s lives. You need to know what their culture dictates as far as their practices during religious holidays, and the expectations of each other’s families during these holidays.
I was lucky in that my husband’s family and my family both celebrate all the holidays, and they are all a lot of fun. But not all families are like that. I dated my husband for six and a half years. During that time we learned about each other, as well as our cultures and faith. Our families are religious, and practice the Catholic faith. It is challenging to coordinate when and where we will be sharing our special days with our families, but we have managed, and would not have it any other way.
I am sure that getting married is a part of a person growing up, and making the adjustments and compromises that we all do for the sake of our spouse. But, sometimes, it seems that these people that get married so young, and then divorce because they grew apart is so sad. Maybe they should have shared a residence first. I know of a couple that are dating, but they are living together, with no “special benefits” because they are saving themselves for their honeymoon. Now, that’s love and commitment! <B
SuZ
